GYB

I got a new laptop at work today.
Here's my request and the subsequent replies from Deskside support.
I thought it was mildly entertaining.

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My Dell laptop, GYB4G81 or "Gyb" for short, has hit the end of his support lifetime.

Gyb tried his best, but he was always pretty sluggish. Really, Gyb was a good ol' boy with a great work ethic. He just couldn't handle the demands of this job. Specifically, he just couldn't handle Outlook + Firefox + Spark without swapping to disk. It was a painful 3 year relationship for both of us. (He only had 1G of RAM. I should have asked for more this year, but I knew his end was near.)

If at all possible, I would like a brand new laptop. (Seriously. A smells-like-new-ozone laptop would really make my day. In fact, I would wait for a brand new laptop if necessary.)

Here's proof that I waited...

[link to dell]

Service Contracts and Warranties
Description Provider Start Date End Date Days Left
Next Business Day Support UNY 9/10/2006 9/9/2008 0

No real rush. Gyb and I are still saying our goodbyes. I'm still zipping up my stuff and moving out.

Thanks!

:q!


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09/10/2008 12:03:10 help desk
Unfortunately, due to the nature of this request, I will have to deny a new laptop under the indications that this could cause a serious and detrimental blow to GYB's stability and future as an EOL laptop. Deskside and I have had a meeting and come to the conclusion that GYB would be better off in the hands of You, [my name here], as it's sole-caregiver under it's strenuous, day to day, week to week, firefox+outlook+spark activities. Although this may cause some headaches and heartaches, we do feel that GYB's wellbeing would be happier and even safer at your desk, instead of the EOL graveyard in a warehouse at an undisclosed location. Please feel free to contact the BoEOL (Board of End of Life) which can process your request upon a further date. Sincerely, ~Deskside


:) Just Kidding. Let us know a good time to swap. Has everything been backed up?


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09/10/2008 12:33:45 Me
While I completely understand the BoEOL's decision, and I realize they have Gyb's best interests in mind, I will be filing an appeal.

Certainly there is a better, more fulfilling life in the EOL graveyard for Gyb.

Perhaps he will find his way through the EOL graveyard to the Almighty's Company Store, and from there, he will find his way into the hands of a young child whose parents were too cheap to buy him a new laptop.

Perhaps from there, hand in hand, the child and Gyb will work to take over the world. You see, as Nietzsche says, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger." Gyb's 1G of RAM limitation will strengthen this young child's coding skills, and that one child will one day write The Über Code. The Über Code will allow the development of everything from a real perpetual motion machine to a solution to global warming and maybe even a cure for cancer.

So you see... Gyb's true place is obviously not at our company and certainly not at my desk.

Please forward my concerns to the BoEOL.

--

Backups done: Yes.

Time: Does 3:00 work for you?

Thanks!

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09/10/2008 13:45:42 help desk
LOL!! Yes, that works for us (I just can't compete!)